The past week found our sweet Jamie in tears for the first 30-45 minutes of school - a state that left all of us around him feeling sad and helpless. So many people in his life are trying so very hard to help him feel safe, confident and secure and yet we continually find that there is no easy answer to his anxiety. Not long ago a speech therapist asked me what kinds of anxiety I thought he was experiencing and I answered "sensory, situational, separation and irrational" and she responded that I was wrong - there is no irrational anxiety. It stuck in my mind because I was a bit defensive that she said I was wrong! What I had meant was that it felt irrational for Jamie to be anxious when our loving dog Karma barks since he adores her otherwise or when I go upstairs to change clothes, even when he can see me and I do this everyday. However now I can see what she meant - that something that feels irrational to me is very genuinely scary or upsetting to him even though I don't understand it.
I think that kids this age must generally find the world to be a profoundly confusing place regardless of their neurological function! Words with multiple meanings, literal interpretations that go unexplained and no control over anything in their world must make for a constant feeling of intellectual vertigo. So they must find ways to cope, strategies to feel grounded and a basic sense of faith. I am hoping with all my heart that we can teach this to Jamie in a way that sticks. The good news is that today the teacher reported that there were NO TEARS today, and included a smiley. This is his 7th day with summer school and I have fingers crossed that he is moving into a happy place there. Regardless of the coming days, I will take every no tears/smiley face day with joy.
I am also looking for answers still...today I found a homeopathic therapy called CEASE therapy. I have serious reservations about it as the practitioners involved seem to harbor some conspiracy theory ideas about vaccine by-products and autism which I find difficult to buy into based on the sheer mass of vaccine data that has been reviewed by the medical community in recent years. I would assume that this treatment couldn't hurt Jamie but it may hurt the pocket book as the initial consultation alone is $400. I seem to be grasping for a reason to believe in it though, as there are some tempting claims about "curing" autism and soothing the injured areas of the brain. I know in my heart that I am vulnerable to these types of claims and that I am desperate for something miraculous to occur - something just to take away his fears, that's all I need. I'm not sure how to proceed as I don't want to be taken advantage of by charlatans and I also don't want to miss something that could potentially help my child. Any advice would be well received.
On another note, Happy Independence Day tomorrow! Independence. A nice thing to ruminate on.... my best wishes for us all to maintain happiness and independence :)....with no tears :)
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